Lilo & Stitch.

“Wow. San Francisco.”

I can’t remember the last time I laughed until my ribs hurt and I couldn’t see for the tears — or the last time Frood laughed so hard at a movie about genetically engineered aliens.

I don’t like Disney films. I really don’t. And yet I think the fifteen quid I spent on the 2 disc special edition, on the recommendation of a friend, is probably the best fifteen quid I’ve spent in months.

And new avatars! Yay for new avatars!

Hold Your Colour.

We am be liking you now, oh yes. Fasten Your Seatbelt is a real groovy bum tune. It’s the sound of the giant clowns in the Chronicles.

I think the technical term for this particular sound is “fat”. It’s a bit Crystal Method, a little bit Altöm and in places would make a fantastic addition to Podrunner.

Oh yes. Super likee!

A raccoon? Puh-lease.

I have taken it down because I was fed up being a rabbit, raccoon or bloody ferret. It is now a crow (I had to lie). Thank you please.

People buy lambs in ‘poodle scam’.

“…the scam was only spotted after a leading Japanese actress said her ‘poodle’ didn’t bark and refused to eat dog food.”

Erm… right. Okaaaay. Is it actually possible to mistake a lamb for a poodle? Even a carefully coiffeurred one?

Music to train to.

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

Yeah. I’m dubious about the value of these Downing Street petition things as well. But it can’t hurt, can it?

The proposed revision — which includes such ridiculous changes as “use cycle paths where possible” rather than the currently slightly less proscriptive “use cycle paths were practicable” — was laid before Parliament on the 28th March 2007. A member of the Commons or the House of Lords has to bring an adverse prayer to have any chance of getting it stopped, but this in itself would not be guaranteed to prevent it coming into force. It would only take it before a committee that has no power to amend it: only accept it or throw it out entirely. Government would most probably use its built-in majority to whip it through.

The really irritating part of this is that 70% of the responses to the draft were from cyclists pointing out why the revised wording was poor:

The wording on the use of cycle facilities such as advanced stop lines, cycle boxes and toucan crossings – originally, the rule regarding these facilities stated “Use cycle routes where practicable. They can make your journey safer.” New wording was inserted into the consultation document, which contained greater detail with regard to the use of cycle boxes and advanced stop lines where provided. This change was read by many to suggest that their use was mandatory. Many felt this was unfair and unsafe, as they considered the standard of cycle lanes in GB to be very poor and very dangerous, often filled with parked vehicles, debris, drain covers and pot holes.

A large number of respondents also felt that other road users believed cyclists were legally obliged to use these facilities at all times , and therefore expected cyclists to use them wherever available, rather than by free choice, dependent on conditions. This then raised the issue of liability if cyclists did not use the facilities and a road traffic incident occurred.

It was felt that other road users needed to be made aware that the choice to use these facilities remains with the cyclist, and there is no law forcing their use. The phrasing of the rule has therefore been amended to take this into account. The standard of cycle routes remains the responsibility of the relevant highway authorities and so falls outside the remit of The Highway Code.

The advice on wearing cycle helmets and high visibility clothing – as many respondents incorrectly believed that the advice to wear cycle helmets and high visibility clothing was mandatory they asked for the recommendations to be completely removed, primarily because it was seen as removing the cyclist’s choice of what to wear. However, as this is still considered to be good advice for all cyclists, it has not been changed.

The advice on negotiating roundabouts – The Highway Code did state that, when negotiating roundabouts, cyclists should keep to the left when cycling, or dismount and walk round. Many respondents considered the former to be dangerous and contrary to the advice given in cycle training manuals, while the latter discriminated against the cyclist’s right to use the road equally with any other road user. However, the advice is still considered to be appropriate and has not been changed, although the order of the wording has been revised for clarity.

In other words: screw you.

Add your name to the petition as a start. Better yet, lobby your MP at a surgery or even by letter. If you need any hints and tips on why the changes are a bad idea, drop me a line at the usual address.

Every so often he does something that absolutely reminds me why I love him so much.

This is why he has a Flickr set dedicated to him.

We havered [ObnonScots: dithered] over whether to go see this with Mum and Dad for ages. They were keen, but very busy, so we decided to go ourselves.

Having heard several bad reviews of it in the preceding week Frood and I deliberately deleted any and all expectation from our minds and prepared to accept whatever was given to us. We had both read the original graphic novel: it’s sitting on my shelf over there as I type. “Minimalist” is a good word for that. There’s not much to it. I admit I was a bit baffled by the 116 minute advertised running time: how could they stretch those few pages into nearly two hours?

Lots of slow motion, that’s how. Slow motion beheading, slow motion marching, slow motion blood flying across the screen… if you’ve seen Sin City you’ll know the visual effect. There was also that slightly unrealistic colour palette, which added to the general Miller feel.

It was okay. Really. I kind of liked the fight scenes. Some of the Spartans were really very attractive, in a sweatily slippery, muscular sort of way. Gerard Butler, playing King Leonides (unrecognisable from his Tomb Raider days) had a simply adorable soft Scottish accent that was vaguely reminiscent of Sean Connery. I half expected to hear him say “This is SPAAAAAARTAAAAA, Mish Moneypenny.”

I note from the IMDB entry that he’s rumoured to be in the new production of Watchmen. Dear gods in heaven. That’s a film that SHOULD NOT be made.

Gods only know what that whole political sub-plot involving the Queen was for. Queenie lasts about 3 pages in the book and isn’t heard from again. It was unnecessary, and if they’d cut that out then it would have brought the film down to a far more reasonable 90 minutes, thus enabling me to sit through it without looking at my watch every five minutes for the last half an hour.

The creature effects were disappointing. There’s no excuse for crap special effects in this day and age. If you’re going to have a war heffalump, make it a good one. David Wenham provided some amusement as Delios, but only because I remember him as the sex-starved friar from Van Helsing. Xerxes looked like he’d been press-ganged from a gay Portland fetish nightclub and could have walked straight onto a Rocky Horror set without batting an eyelid. Having said that, the facial piercings were in the book, so that’s not the film’s fault. I’d still have preferred to see someone who was properly black and imperial in appearance. The book made me think of the royalty in H Rider Haggard’s King Solomon’s Mines, not someone who does vocals for Jane’s Addiction or the Chilli Peppers.

I don’t get the frequently-heard complaints about it being too American. There weren’t any Americans in it. Not obviously, anyway. Sure there was a lot of “Hooah!” and patriotic obsession, but we’re talking Spartans here. I would expect that of them.

The narrative, performed by David Wenham, was pretty much straight from the book and overall the film was a reasonable adaptation, aside from being overly long. Sure there were some issues with historical accuracy, but does anyone think that Xerxes was really 9 feet tall with a voice like someone out of Stargate? I like to think that it was a film of what the perception of those participating might have been like: the presentation was coloured by the way the participants viewed the world. From that perspective, it was a pretty good bash. To us modern Westerners these ideas might seem ridiculous and even blatantly wrong: to those taking part, they might have been close to the mark. I think that was what Miller was trying to do in the book and the film-makers had a go at putting that on the big screen.

I might be giving them more credit than they’re due, of course, but other than the ridiculous and entirely invented sub-plots I think they did a pretty good job.

Not a great film by any stretch of the imagination. I enjoyed Ghost Rider more. That said, I don’t regret going: this isn’t a The Core or The Cave, both of which left me fuming that I would never get that time back, and I paid for the privilege of having my brain polluted.

Don’t worry if you’ve missed it, but don’t fret about it being crap and useless if you’ve already bought tickets.

On our way back from my parents last night. About 3km from home at the tail end of a 40km jaunt. Well that added ten minutes to my time. I’m not entirely sure what happened but it snapped right across and then the rear part was dragged up underneath the part still attached to the bike. I didn’t realise this at first and spent about five minutes thinking it had just come loose and trying to re-attach it. Very unsuccessfully.

Dammit. That one had my audax sticker on it and everyfink. I don’t know what got into him.