Platonic sex magic - isn't that a contradiction in terms? Not really. Dion Fortune, amongst many others, recognised that, in fact, neither intercourse nor orgasm are necessary for sex magic. Her biographer, Alan Richardson, comments that "because intercourse did not occur, this did not mean that sexuality was absent from the workings".
The same was true of the mediæval love mystics, the Courtly Love movement and many others: the important parts are the psyche and the sense of arousal which induces changes in consciousness. Whilst the simple fact that a technique is hundreds of years old doesn't make it right, in this case it is - in the right frame of mind, it's perfectly possible to work sex-magic with a partner without actual physical sex. How might this be?
Well, if you've worked on a symbol system which takes you into the same frame of reference, and the triggers are all in place, then sharing those symbols and triggers can work in the same way as physical intercourse. You have to work at it, but the end result is the same as attuning the mind in such a way that the Great Rite in token actually works. Think, for example, of dancing together, or of flirting or even sharing a meal. Both give some sense of the same feeling, of taking pleasure in each other even if there's not the remotest possibility of physical sex.
One way to work would be to practice the basic techniques, and then work through the solo exercises to build up the imagery - I'm using a well, but it could be anything else which works for both of you. Discuss and share the imagery so that you're both familiar with it (but remember that there's no "right" answer). Now, you should be able to use the breathing exercise to work together just "as if". Treating something "as if" it's true is another basic technique.
Perhaps you might do what Dion Fortune did: hold hands. Do it in a meaningful way: Fortune's group used the index and second fingers outstretched to make a blade, surrounded by a fist to represent the chalice. As always, reserving a special symbol for the purpose is a good idea: no matter how much effort has gone into the work, there are times when this particular response may not be the most appropriate. If you group symbols together, such as holding hands and breathing, it prevents you dropping into trance when being introduced to the person who has just bought your company.
Nonetheless, at the right time, the reaction will be there. Use the breaks in time and space to which you have become accustomed, come to each other in full recognition of your sexuality, and the feelings of the heart will do the rest.
This may seem trite: it is nonetheless true. This is not a poor substitute for intercourse in sex-magic, nor is it superior: it's just different.
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