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revised 16 May 2001

...concentrating on the matter in hand

The attribution of the Graal to the vagina, with all its attendant symbolism, seems clear enough. However, there are two potential traditional attributions for the penis: why did I pick the rod rather than the lance? Well, several reasons - there's never really just one reason in any of this stuff. Firstly, for me, the lance has a feeling of coercion about it, of imposing will, whereas the flowering rod, feels for me msuch more gentle, that the act is consensual. Secondly, since I drew the Graal idea from the Sanskrit word Yoni, the translation of the equivalent "Lingam" as "Wand of Light" Thirdly, building on the image of a wand, using the attribution of Rod gives the option of a masculine image of wisdom like Merlin, as well as that of a warrior like Perceval.

As with the adoration of the Graal, the purpose of adoration of the rod is to create a mental and physical space that will allow the Knight (receiving pleasure) to relax and receive expanded pleasure from his Rod. His partner (giving pleasure) will facilitate the Knight's surrender to his gentle side, and in return may experience a great sense of fulfilment. The ritual builds trust and intimacy and may prove to be a profoundly emotional activity for both parties.

Orgasm is not the goal of the ritual: it often occurs as a side-effect, and there are a few basic tips at the end for making this more intense, but the primary aim is to massage the flowering rod, together with the testicles, perineum and the prostate, giving the knight a form of pleasure to which he may not be used. As with the solo ritual, there's no particular advantage in denying orgasm, nor in achieving it. From this perspective both receiver and giver relax into the massage. Most men need help to learn to be able to relax and receive pleasure: they are more used to an active role. Adoration of the rod allows the knight to experience pleasure from a passive, receptive perspective.

As before, you can compromise on the working space if necessary, but not the time. If you and your partner used the same area to practice the solo ritual, build on that and use it again. The lighting should be low once again, and background music might be an advantage. Build on the existing imagery, which you discussed after the solo rituals. If you followed the idea of the candle in a glass bowl, with a blossom, and wine, then the partner could perhaps select and bring a glass of wine for the knight to sip and pour a libation into the bowl. If you used incense before, use the same incense again, if possible. Use anything which will continue to build imagery in the brain and make the preparations for ritual become as natural as breathing. You will need a high quality massage oil or other liquid lubricant as appropriate.

Once again, take a ritual bath if you can, and "Make yourself comfortable". Moreso even than in a solo ritual, interrupting the adoration due to a full bladder is disruptive. Remember to treat the bath as a spiritual break as well as a physical one. You may wish to towel each other dry, or perhaps the Knight may bathe first and then enter the ritual space and wait, building the expectation whilst his partner prepares. Above all, take time to become fully comfortable and prepared.

Start with a melting hug, as described on the basic techniques page. Then proceed to the massage area. The knight should lie back with his head and shoulders raised on cushions or pillows, so that he can look up at his partner. His hips should rest on a pillow covered with a towel. He should spread his legs and bend his knees to clearly expose his genitals for the massage. If this is uncomfortable, try placing another cusihion under the knees. His partner should sit cross-legged between his legs. This may take some practice before it is comfortable and once again a strategically placed cushion may help.

The Knight of the rod should repeat the relaxation exercises already practiced both separately and as part of the solo ritual, until he is fully given to breathing light. If the rod is the wand of light, then the image of the light empowering the rod may be useful. Spend as long as you need. If both partners are experienced in the technique, the worshipper may also perform the breathing exercises, but not at the expense of attention to the Knight.

With warmed hands, the worshipper should begin by massaging the legs, abdomen, chest and any other conveniently accessible parts of the body, whilst the Knight continues the relaxation process. This also gives the worshipper a space to prepare for touching the rod. Now, pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil or lubricant onto the shaft of the rod. There should be enough to drip down over the scrotum.

Begin to gently massage the testicles, but be gentle since the area is sensitive and it's easy to cause pain. Don't rush. Relax and enter fully into the experience of giving the massage. Find pleasure in being able to give pleasure. Massage the scrotum gently until it relaxes. Now move to the area above the rod, on the pubic bone. Massage the area between the testicles and anus (the perineum). Don't move on until you really must: whatever you are doing, would be even better at half the rate. Eventually, massage the shaft of the Rod. Vary the speed and pressure. Gently squeeze the the base of the rod with one hand, then pull up and slide off: repeat with the other hand and then alternate. After a while, change to squeezing the head of the rod and sliding down to the base.

Move on to massage the head of the rod. massage all around the shaft and head: there are many nerve endings and with a little practice this will induce feelings of pleasure throughout the body. Cup the palm of your hand over the head and massage it in all directions, squeezing gently. The rod may well go soft: this is perfectly normal and should not waorry either partner. It may then become hard again - the alternation of hardness and softness is itself a powerful sex-magic experience which has been likened to riding a wave. If the Knight approaches ejaculation, move the focus of adoration for a while and allow the rod to become slightly soft before resuming. The goal is not orgasm and one can learn to control ejaculation, and to separate orgasm and ejaculation by coming close and then retreating. This is the foundation technique of learning to achieve multiple male orgasms. Continuing the breathing and visualisation will also help.

Move to massage of the prostate, either internally or externally. The spot - often known in eastern techniques as the "sacred spot" - is midway between the testicles and anus, and from the outside feels like a small indentation. Go gently: pressure here may be painful at first. Internally it can be reached by gently pushing a lubricated finger about an inch into the anus and then bending it forward. This technique requires practice for both giver and receiver and requires great trust to be pleasurable. Massage the rod with one hand and the sacred spot with the other. Massage of the area will expand orgasms and help control ejaculation: lessening the massage of the rod and pressing on the sacred spot when the knight is close to ejaculation will probably grealy enhance the orgasmic experience.

This type of massage may be traumatic for the Knight, who may have strong emotions regarding the technique. The giver must maintain the place of trust and allow whatever reaction the knight has. This can be a greatly healing and bonding. The Knight must be free to feel whatever he will: continue the massage, breathing and looking into each other's eyes. Maintain different pressures, speeds and patterns. If the knight chooses to ejaculate, and has been brought to the edge several times beforehand, then breathing fast and deeply during orgasm will greatly enhance the experience. The Knight can, of course, choose whether to send the light energy out with his semen, ot to hold it in for other purposes. Whether or not he has an orgasm, keep massaging slowly and gently until he tells you to stop (but then gently do so immediately). With great reverence, remove your hands and allow him to enjoy the afterglow, perhaps snuggling up and entering an enjoyable relaxation state together.

Once again, end the ritual as you began. If necessary, restore yourself to breathing light, wait for a few minutes and end with another melting hug. Then, with a conscious effort, bid farewell to the guardian of the place, leave, and ground yourself.

Once again, write up separately but discuss everything together, what you felt and saw and what it means for you both. There's little point in proceeding without discussing the whole thing in some detail.

There's an equivalent exercise for adoring the graal. Partners should take turns giving and receiving until you are both happy to move on. Then and only then...

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